spring rain.

i understand why these words are found on laundry soap labels. something about a spring rain evokes good thoughts of cleanliness.

currently the sky is beautifully ominous. it is dark, but i am keeping the lights off so only a subtle brightness enters the house from outside. we have two large windows in the living room where i sit, peering between a Big Bird balloon and a floor lamp to a downpour splashing the gridded panes. i am fresh out of the shower: the first i've had since, hmmm.

it is good to be washed clean.

Thunder. the color of the sky matches the paint on the walls, a pale blue-grey. i am alone downstairs as eli listens to the storm from his crib. i hear him babbling now and then; he fights sleep. i have crept upstairs a few times on tiptoes, avoiding creaks on the old wood planks, but he has sharp ears and calls out when he hears me...not upset but more of a how-do-you-do-mommy-on-the-stairs? i crouch outside his room to peek through the hole where a doorknob should be. we don't have one yet, still just a plain pine door waiting for trim, paint, and handle. so there's a hole which actually turns out to be quite useful for spying. i can see the corner of him. he sits up and talks to his stuffed bear, bangs his sippy-cup on the side of the crib, speaks his baby-japanese.

i put my coffee cup down inside a perfect circle on the trunk in front of the sofa. the circle is an old stain from another cup, but it's blackish like a burn mark pressed into wood, as if the bottom of a mug was smoldering when it was set there. there are sheets of rain sliding down the glass and i love the sound of it. my hair is damp and toenails trimmed. i love the springtime and this thunderstorm that drowns the new grass and washes the windows of this old, old house.

j is away in chicago. we feel safe & sound here without him though and the storm does not scare us. eli is at last asleep and my hair strands are frizzing on the edges from air drying. the rain makes patterns of lines on the glass and between them i can see the criss-cross of tree branches, still bare but not for long.

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